My root trauma may not be the same as the Mila Kunis character in Luckiest Girl Alive, but I was also young when it happened.
My life became a series of coping mechanisms. Dishonesty, playing a role, telling people what I thought they wanted to hear.
I was abused, and I witnessed traumatic incidents as a child. The people who were meant to support me were unable to, due to the complexities of life.
But here I am… Stronger than ever.
This is a common cycle in the LGBT+ community. Most either hide or come out. We deal with rejection, which pushes us into adult scenarios too soon. I have hope for todays queer youth, but they still need hope. We particularly need to do better to fight for trans rights.
As an adult, I live in a liberal bubble in Toronto, but I still get strange looks when I am on a date, particularly men who are of a different ethnicity. I excuse it, "I'm from Alberta, I'm used to it." But that is utter bullcrap.
Some reading this may think: “You should speak to a therapist.”
I will, but also, I’m choosing to be empowered by “Luckiest Girl Alive”.
Like the character Ani, I’m owning my narrative and using it as the fire under my ass.
I've been feminine since a VERY young age. I identified with women on screen, and in life.
This has little to do with my appearance, though I like a dose of gender euphoria as much as the next queen. Rather, it's an inner feeling of knowing.
I don’t feel the need to change my body, but I reserve the right to choose that path for myself. I may never “figure it out” but that isn’t the point. I call myself Non-Binary, and that might change too.
Because I am sharing my story, I am living my life on my own terms, and I’ll continue to.
>>> If you have averse reactions to my brand of truth-telling, please scroll on. You aren't the kind of person I need in my life anyway. <<<
My truth will deepen my important relationships, and build new ones… prospects I am excited for.
If these words connected with you, I only ask you to pay it forward, in your own time.
Being vulnerable with others- whether publicly or privately- is a great way to stop the cycle of hurt people hurting people.
“An approximation of honesty won’t make the cut.”
****Thank you, Jessica Knoll, for telling this (your) story. I am beyond inspired. ****